No News Is Not Good News

Firstly I’m sorry for the delay in writing this post but as some of you may have realised the news we got on Xmas Eve was not the news we were hoping for.


In fact it was the worst news we could have got.

Some of the cancer in Steves lungs has unfortunately grown in size and their is a concern that it has spread. Their is a suspicious looking growth in the site where Steve’s Kidney was removed and they have concerns that this maybe a new growth of the Kidney Cancer.

We arrived at St Barts to be immediately seen by Tom. Tom got straight to the point and told us that it wasn’t good news. Tom himself looked really sad and disappointed whilst he was telling us.
Steve was brilliant and I was CRAP! I couldnt keep it together. I hadn’t for one moment thought the news would be this bad. I knew that it probably wouldn’t have all gone but I didn’t think he would tell us that it was worse! I cried and Im so sorry I did I just couldn’t stop it. Steve asked all of the right questions. I so wanted to be stronger and support Steve rather than the other way round!

Tom did tell us that it wasnt all bad news as the cancer is less than what it was in June, its just not as good as it was in October when he was last scanned.
This does mean that under Toms care Steve will not get anymore HD IL2.
Steve was given 3 options.
1) Do nothing
2 ) Go onto Sutent ( A life extending drug)
3) Go on to a clinical trial - Tom thought Steve shouldn’t do this one

I did manage to speak at this point and asked if their was a 4th option of seeing someone else for a second opinion. Tom fully supported this option and said he would help to organise Steve see the consultant in Manchester who also offers HD IL2.
I dont know why but I just cant accept that their is no way for Steve to not be fully cured of this and as HD IL2 is the only way that this can happen I’m not prepared for this result to be the end of the road for HD IL2, without at least seeing someone else.

Tom did remind us that HD IL2 was always going to be a long shot and in fact he likened it to trying to win the Champions League! And said Steve had got to the Semi Finals!

Semi Finals does he not know that Wrighty is a Winner! We dont do coming 2nd, as Steve has been heard say before their is no prize for 2nd place!

That said Steve isn’t sure about the 2nd opinion.
He trusts Tom and doesn’t believe anyone else will tell us any different.
I on the other hand don’t think we have anything to loose!
Quite frankly nothing can be worse then the news we heard on Xmas Eve.
In my mind it can only improve things if we go to Manchester but all that said and done its not me with cancer, its Steve and I will support Steve in what ever he wants to do but as Brian (Steve’s Dad) pointed out their are some good golf courses in Manchester! You can see where Steve gets his thinking from!

Tom did say that Steve should have a scan in 8 weeks time to see whether the cancer has grown more, so that they can get an idea of how quickly or hopefully slowly the cancer is growing. Until this scan Steve will not take any other drugs but if Steve did want to get a second opinion from the doctor (Rob) in Manchester then he should do that as soon as possible in January.

The train journey home was awful. We didn’t talk much but sat quietly and held each others hands. I didn’t know what to say and every time I tried I could feel the tears.

So with this awful news how do you go forward and host Xmas for 12 relatives and 2 children who are looking forward to opening lots of presents!

Well you do it in the only way that Wrighty would! With a smile and a focussed approach! Their were too many things to be done to speak or dwell for too long on the news.

In a strange way it has made it easier for me, as we have all had to do that, well how can I or anyone else be down around Steve when he is able to cope with all of this.

It will be discussed and I’m sure more tears will be shed. Just not for another couple of days as the other side of the family are coming tomorrow!
So for now its back to focussing on how we are going to seat another 12 people for dinner.......

Once we have some news on the next steps then I will post some more on the blog but in the mean time thank you to everyone for your thoughts and well wishes and I hope everyone had a lovely Xmas.