Back in Hospital

Steve is back in hospital and this time it will be for a few days.


After we came home on Sunday Steve has been managing with the pain and with help of the local nurses and doctors it has been bearable but we haven't managed to get to the route of the problem.

Last night the pain came back with the intensity that it had on Sunday but with 30 mls of Morphine we were able to get it under control. Not enough for Steve to sleep through the night but enough for the pain to not take complete control,

This morning, Steve in his usual way battled with the pain, whilst trying to focus on other things. Till it got to the point of absolute agony. I've never felt nor witnessed pain like it. Steve was crying out in pain, whilst holding his stomach.

After several calls to hospitals, hospices, doctors etc it was decided that Steve needed to go back to hospital.

So with a letter in hand and me driving, trying to be calm, we went to St Peters.

We went straight to the Surgical Assessment Unit (SAU to those in the know!) which is a strange place, right next to the operating theatre, a row of beds with people waiting to be assessed to see if they need surgery!

5 hours later! we were seen and told that Steve needed to stay in hospital.

Which is where I've left him tonight, in a ward with 2 other men, 1 who is in his 80's who is as deaf as a post and his earring aid battery has died, so he has to shout and everyone talking to him has to shout and another guy who has pancreas problems.

It made me realise that everyone we come across is old! Not old in the same way that our kids look at it, i.e. grey hair but properly old! Retired old! Lived their lives old! I cant help but think but why are we there! Why are we with lots of old people who have lived their lives, seen things, done things. Please don’t get me wrong I don’t wish for one minute ill health on anyone but when your old it surely is different? You have the memories, the experiences to look back on, the children who are grown up but why are we there? Why is Steve there? At 41 years old, the life and soul of the party, the one who has and still has everything to say.
But we are there and we need to make sure were not in there for too long!
Which is where I can and will make a difference.
Steve shouldn’t be in a room with 3 guys he doesn’t know, on a stretcher type thing, where the sheet doesn’t even make it around the bed. This is where I can make a difference. Tonight Steve will spend the night there but as soon as the clock hits 8am (this is when BUPA opens!) I will be on the phone to BUPA to get him moved to the private hospital, where he can be treated by the same people but in comfort! Life for everyone is too short to be spent in that environment. I know its probably just me, that’s thinking this but I cant stand to leave Steve and especially in a place like that.

I'm off to bed now, with the alarm loudly set.

I will update tomorrow.

x