Charity Ball x x x

Well I think I did you proud Mr Wright.
After hours of preening, all those things you loved, not! And a glass of champagne to steady my nerves
I went onto the stage at the start of the evening, introduced by James Whale himself. The ballroom at the hotel was packed with over 600 people and most importantly this included all of our friends and family, all there to support me and honour your memory. Ive pasted below my speech and you could of heard a pin drop when I delivered it. Or I should say my heart beating as it felt so fast and loud!!!! But I did it and Im so pleased that I could tell everyone there all about you. 
And afterwards  people were so lovely, strangers coming up to me saying that I was such a strong person but in fact you were the strong one. You were the one  who never gave up, never made us feel guilty for being well.
You were determined that me and the girls would carry on living our lives. When you were here you pushed us all to get on with the everyday things, when I know all I wanted to do was make time stand still and spend every second with you but you always kept on at me to keep working, keep doing the everyday things as you knew I would need all these things when you weren't here but at the time I didnt want that, we use to argue about it! I would be upset as I thought you didnt want me around but in fact what you wanted to do was make sure I still had a life after you were gone! I couldn't see that at the time as all I wanted to do was spend time with you but now I understand. And the friends, work colleagues and family there last night made me realise how important it is to keep taking those steps forward and that they are all there helping me through.  x x x xx

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Good Evening

This time last year Steve and I were here at the James Whale dinner and this evening instead of sitting where you are with my gorgeous husband I am stood here as a widow.

Ten months ago I lost the love of my life, my best friend to Kidney Cancer.

Steve Wright or Wrighty as he was known was not simply the statistic you read about in the newspapers he was my husband, an amazing Dad and many people here tonights best friend. He was 40 years old when he was diagnosed and only 41 when he died.

Steve had Cancer! Cancer – people survive cancer and as Steve was a “winner” in everything he put his mind too, he was confident he could beat this too. He was after all Mr Wright………

Steve always lived his life to the full, he spent far too much time playing cricket, golf, football and in fact any competitive sport he could!
Steve had a wicked sense of humour I remember one such occasion when he thought it would be really funny to come and support me on training bike ride, as I was training for the London to Paris bike ride in aid of James Whale Fund
68 miles into a 75 mile ride, battling endless hills and the rain!
Steve appeared in his 911 hooting his horn and shouting “come on woman whats kept you Im hungry and need my dinner!” then proceeded to drive off at speed!!!
Or the time when he was in hospital in the high dependency unit and honestly in all seriousness asked the Doctor what his chances were of being out of hospital by Sunday as his mate had got him tickets to see England at the oval, on the final day of the ashes. I don’t think I will ever forget the doctors face.

That cheeky smile always present even though he knew he was fighting a disease which would eventually kill him.
Well Kidney Cancer is a killer and in the case of Steve and I a cancer we had never heard of. So when Steve and I were coming to the end of a 2 year building project on our new house and he became tired and lost weight we simply put it down to the fact he was working all day and working every evening on the house. Steve had no other symptoms then this.
Steve being the mans/man he was didn’t go to the doctor! “What are they going to do!” I just need to eat more and sleep more! Was his constant reply when I “nagged” him or reminded him as I like to put it!
2 weeks after we moved into our new house in May 2009 Steve was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer with secondary’s to his lungs.

I remember clearly Steve’s reaction when he was told he called it a nuisance but at least the Ashes and Open are on.
Steve had his Kidney removed along with the 9cm tumour in June.
Cancer or no Cancer Steve didn’t give up! He concentrated on living his life and letting me who he named Dr Hewitty to sort out “the medical side of things!” He didn’t want to see nurses or doctors! All he wanted to do was go about things as he always had done.

I could spend hours and hours listing things he did but don’t worry I wont!
I often would ask Steve “What do you want to do!” We can do anything, go anywhere. And he simply said I love my life. Ive had a great life and all I want to do is carry on doing the same things. Which is exactly what we did? Well that was in between the 24 CT scans, multiple weeks in hospital and too many doctors appts to count.

Im going to now read you a extract from a blog I’ve been writing since the day Steve was diagnosed.
The WRIGHTYWAY
August 29th 2009 – St Barts Hospital - London
Steve has now had 7 Doeses of the Interlukin and every dose seems to have worse side effects on him and all of them seem to be lasting longer! The shaking, sickness and high fever are really awful to see as a bystander who feels helpless Sickness, Diarrhoea, Sharp Pains in all joints, High Fever of 40, Swollen mouth, Pain all over his body, Shakes all over the body for 35 minutes each time, Dangerously low blood pressure and not one moan from Mr Wright!!!

24th December - Xmas Eve 2009
We arrived at St Barts to be immediately seen by Dr Tom Powles . Tom got straight to the point and told us that it wasn’t good news. Tom himself looked really sad and disappointed whilst he was telling us.
Steve was brilliant and I was CRAP! I couldn’t keep it together. I hadn’t for one moment thought the news would be this bad. I knew that the cancer wouldn’t have all gone but I didn’t think he would tell us that it was worse! I cried and Im so sorry I did I just couldn’t stop it. Steve asked all of the right questions. I so wanted to be stronger and support Steve rather than the other way round!

Tom did remind us that HD IL2 was always going to be a long shot and in fact he likened it to trying to win the Champions League! And said Steve had got to the Semi Finals!
Semi Finals does he not know that Wrighty is a Winner! We dont do coming 2nd, as Steve has been heard say before their is no prize for 2nd place!
So with this awful news how do you go forward and host Xmas for 12 relatives and 2 children who are looking forward to opening lots of presents!
Well you do it in the only way that Wrighty would! With a smile and a focussed approach! Their were too many things to be done to speak or dwell for too long on the news.


After several other unsuccessful treatments in November 2010 only 1 week after we were married Steve went into Woking hospice and spent the last 3 weeks of his life there. And even then he kept everyone on their toes. Well he was again after all Mr Wright and even at the end of his life he knew exactly what he did and didn’t want.

Since loosing Steve my life has felt at times very empty, my heart hurts and even now I keep thinking he is going to come home! I want to share my news with him, the kids want him supporting them at school and sports events but he isn’t coming back. And that is a fact we all struggle to live with each day.

I know we wouldn’t have been able to carry on without my amazing friends, work colleagues and my family all of which Im so proud to say are here tonight.

So my message to everyone here is if you only take 1 thing away from my ramblings:

Women – Keep on nagging the men in your life to go to the doctors and Men – firstly do as your told and then women wouldn’t have to nag and most importantly to everyone go to the doctors straight away if you are feeling unwell. Remember Steve was tired and lost weight!

Oh and live your life as Steve did through this James Dean quote
“Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today,”

THANK YOU