Wrighty Way Continues

It’s been nearly 2 weeks since Steve’s memorial and cremation but only now have I been able to write anything. I keep trying but can’t find the words! I know hard to believe for a woman who loves to witter!!


It was a cold but bright blue sky day, which was so fitting! A day Steve would have loved! In fact he would have said "I should be out on the golf course!" Gosh I wish he was here to say that.

At just before 12pm Steve was brought to the house, as I said before he wished that his friends could carry him and with the utmost strength and dignity they did.

When the funeral cars arrived I went outside to meet them I wanted to be alone to see Steve arrive. But I wasn’t alone...... Now please don’t think I’ve gone mad! And goodness knows I do keep questioning this!

As they opened up the back of the hearse a robin appeared and flew onto the coffin and then flew to my feet! Our house is called Birdwalk and it is as the name suggests a haven for birds and we have a robin that frequently spends time with us, so when this happened I couldn’t believe it. Now I try not to read in too deep to things but this was such a moment. It was as though the Robin knew. It was in some sense Steve telling me to be strong and he would be here for me! Even as I type this I can hear Steve laughing at me, telling me not to be so daft!!!

The service was beautiful! And I’m biased but so many people told me it was so moving. For me, it was so personal and just as Steve would have wanted it to be.

His friends and family paid tribute to him and I even managed a few lines. Well to be honest in the saddest of ways I have known as Steve did that this day was going to come. And for me I needed to be strong and knew that this wasn’t going to be the hardest day. The hardest days had been or were to come. Hearing a doctor tell Steve on Xmas Eve last year that HDIL2 hadn’t worked which we both knew meant that their was no long term cure or the day he had to go the hospice, where harder. Also I know that harder days are to come for me. Days like today when I came home from work and had to drive the M25 knowing Steve wouldn’t be there when I got home. So the day of the funeral was about Steve and I was determined to ensure that he had the most fitting tribute that he so deserved!

And all I could here was "Come on Hewitty! If anyone can organise this, you can!"

Over 300 people packed into our local church and all joined in with the service.
The cremation took place at Woking crematorium for family and close friends.

Since Friday the 26th life as been a bit of a blur. Actually since the 20th October which is when Steve went into the hospice,. Life has been a bit of a blur!!! And maybe even further back than that! I’m struggling to remember things. It’s like my brain is shutting things out!

I think it is a coping mechanism and so I guess is the inability to sleep! My boss has a phrase where he tells his staff to sleep quicker, if we complain we have too much to do! Well I think I’m taking that to the extreme!

Well I’ve decided that the Wrighty Way as a blog site will continue, as the Wrighty journey will continue...... Every thing is hard and I keep telling myself the first time of everything will be hard, so for those who are interested I will continue to write about these things.

I will also write about the positives and that I can be sure there will be many!!

To start with on Sunday, Louise, Megan, Victoria and I will be running/jogging/walking/strolling/crawling! 5k for Woking hospice dressed in Santa Suits!! We decided to do this when Steve was still here and he thought it was a great idea! Think he just wanted to see his wife and ex wife dressed stupidly in Santa suits!! And the kids have been their usual selves and have raised over £400!!! Wonder where they get it from!

And this I know is just the start of the Wrighty charity fund! For which we have decided to split all funds 50/50 between the James Whale Kidney Fund and Woking Hospice, as these 2 charities do separate things but have the same aim to make life for people with Kidney Cancer the best they can be! One by making people aware of Kidney Cancer to give them the best chance of survial and the second to ensure those who arent so fortunate to have everything they need, to make thier lives as pain free as they deserve.

So on the 27th December many of the lads are getting together to play the first charity sporting match for Steve! FOOTBALL.........

Apparently there are going to be annual, Football, Golf and Cricket matches! And I’m sure as 2011 comes, there will be other sporting ideas added! Please feel free to get in touch with ideas.

Goodness knows how this football match is going to turn out, as I think its been many years since some of the lads have played! But one thing is for sure, they are going to do it with the Wrighty spirit!!!

It makes you realise how Friends and Family are so important in life! It is such a shame that something like this needs to happen for you to truly realise it! And it was an absolute testament to Steve what amazing people he had in his life and how wonderful those people are and I hope still will be a big part of my life.

I honestly can say from the heart that my life will never been the same but I do remember my earlier words:

Tomorrow I will be sad, Today I will be glad and that I am, for meeting a man who truly loved me.