Milestones

Days, weeks and moments are what life is about.

So with Friday being Steve's birthday we all knew and expected the day to be tough. But because of his friends and the support of family, the day was about celebration that he had been in all of our lives.

The lads were first class! 30 of them from all parts of Steve's life came together to play a round of golf, in Steve's memory and to raise money for James Whale Kidney Cancer Fund and Woking Hospice! And wow didn't they do well! £1000!! Mostly made up from fines...... Yes there were fines for wearing the wrong hat, looking too old, looking too young, playing badly and even the winners donated their winnings to the pot!

The first winner of what will now be an annual golf day was Daryl Bell or as he is known Belly! Daryl will have his name engraved on the cup which I know was an emotional thing for him. I suppose like the rest of us cant believe that Wrighty wasn't there and instead a cup with his name on it.

It was an emotional day but one which was carried along by alot of laughter and the most beautiful blue sky and sunshine. The girls and I went around in the golf buggy, which itself was an experience! Victoria in charge of taking pictures and Megan in charge of driving! We were soon nicknamed Wrightys Angels! And I suppose that's what we are and will always be.
The one thought that I just couldn't shake was that Steve would have loved the day and whilst that is a positive thing, it still hurt. Knowing he would have been 100% there, in with the lads enjoying the day and determined to win, as his friends were. I struggle with that thought. It was to me so obvious that there was simply one person missing! The person that all of these people had come from many miles to remember and remembered he was and in the best way, in a fun environment on his birthday.
Birthdays are a special day, they are the day we enter the world and for me, this is so much more important than the day he left this world but subconsciously I'm still drawn to the 10th of the month. The day that Steve left us. So tomorrow it will be 4 months and I have to say the last month Ive been much better about getting on with things.
The money we raised at the golf day and subsequent days will be split 50/50 between the James Whale Fund (JWF) and Woking Hospice.

Both amazing causes and Ive now been asked to speak at a Woking Hospice ball and JWF ball. I will be putting on here the dates and encouraging people to attend. They will both be great evenings and for great causes.
One of our friends is also doing a very brave thing and running the London Marathon. He is doing this in aid of Woking Hospice and if you can please spare a minute to look at this link www.justgiving.com/Steve-Hobbs and any spare pennies you have donate.

Ive started to find a new way of being, a way of being without Steve but with him still in my thoughts and I can feel him around in all that I do. The robin still visits me and seems to be there just when I need him to be.
Work has kept me busy as has the burst of spring like weather! Its almost as though the garden has woken up! And is calling me, to take and look after it.
Now as you may remember my skills were limited to weeding and watering! And on Sunday I suddenly found myself looking at the lawn, which I had been informed MUST be cut! Cut don't these people know that this was not in my job description. That was Steve's lawn I am not joking when I say I was barely allowed to walk on it, let alone cut it!
But after a quick lesson on how to cut a lawn, apparently its not like hoovering! So no backwards and forwards movements! And a quick weed picking exercise I was let loose on mowing! And of course with the added challenge of ensuring the lawn had lines cut into it! Now I should say I cant even draw a straight line with a ruler, let alone with this foreign heavy object of a lawn mower! But off I went  slowly, apparently a must when doing the first cut of the season! Gosh I'm even starting to sound like a "Pro!" And after far too many attempts at trying to empty the grass catching thingy. I finished.
I did only manage to use the 1 lawn mower and not the other monster in the garage that your supposed to use but I'm sure like most of these things that will come in time!
Steve's friend Nick even commented when he left that this was now a pink job! And next week he would be teaching me car mechanics!!
But like most things I'm now faced with I did and I even managed to do it with a smile, thinking and hoping that Steve would be proud. Proud that forever he will live on and I will keep doing my best for our family, friends and of course the lawn!!!!!!