Wednesday, 21 December 2011


Today I got an amazing Xmas present...... And I think Steve you were part of it. No I’m sure you were!

Today I found out we won a big no huge deal at work! To some this may seem an odd present but I’ve been so focussed on it for the past few months, the thing that’s been keeping me going. And today we found out we had won!
Some parts of life are about choices, choices we make on a daily basis - to get out of bed smiling or not! To keep moving forward or to give up! Most of us have choices like this.
This year it would have been easy to have given up. Given up on life. To stop living and just let the world carry on. But I didn’t.
Not that their weren’t days when I could have quite easily given up on the whole bloody world but how could I when I had Steve in my ear! Telling me to get on with it. Pull yourself together woman!

If Steve could do this when he was ill, then in health how could I do anything less!

I text some close friends tonight to share the news.
The one person I wanted to tell I did tell but had to walk to the cemetery to tell. I placed a single rose and a very big kiss on Steve’s headstone, as I know he would have been so proud of me. One of my friends said something so true. Steve was proud of me full stop. Deal or no Deal he was proud of me! And you know what how right he was. Steve was proud of me and to have that feeling in your heart keeps you going.

I’m fighting so very hard not to feel sad. Which I know is silly given I’ve had brilliant news but like before the highest points also can be the lowest but I keep repeating the phrase.

"Tomorrow I will be Sad.... Today I will be Glad."

That is so true. Today is about being Glad. Glad for making it through a year which would have been so easy to have given up on but instead leaving the year feeling so proud of mine and the kid’s achievements.

So cheers Mr Wright!! This one is definitely for you..................

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